The deep pain of life prepares you for the deep love of God

This afternoon, I had the sweetest visitors. When I opened the door and saw them standing there, I immediately started to cry. It was one of Michael’s best friends and one of my friends, standing at my front door with a gift in hand, coming to see our new home and me.

At first, I felt silly for being so emotional, but in that moment, I felt deeply seen and incredibly loved. The fact that they took time out of their day to come visit meant more to me than I can express—it made my heart feel like it grew a thousand times today.

It’s a strange ache when you once had “couple friends”—people you did life with together—and then everything shifts. The best part is missing now… and he’s in Heaven. That’s part of what makes missing Michael so painful. I didn’t just lose my husband, I lost the shared life we had with others—the friendships that were part of us. It’s another layer of grief I wasn’t prepared for.

But the kindness and presence of those friends today reminded me that love still remains. I know how much Michael loved them, and I felt that love echoed in their visit. I felt seen, cherished, and remembered—and for that, I am profoundly grateful. Even though the emotion caught me off guard, it came from a place of deep love and loss. When you lose someone so central to your life, you also lose the community that was built around them. You don’t expect that part of the grief, but it’s real.

While they were here, I shared something I’ve been reflecting on from the Bible. We all know the shortest verse: “Jesus wept.” And I’ve been sitting with that this week. Jesus knew what He was about to do—He knew He would raise Lazarus. So why did He cry?

It hit me in a new way: Jesus grieved because He loved. Even though He knew the ending, He still allowed Himself to feel the weight of sorrow. Mary and Martha came to Him in their grief, and He didn’t brush it off or skip to the miracle—He sat in it with them. That comforts me deeply.

Jesus understands loss. He was acquainted with grief. And I believe God hates death—not just that it exists, but what it does to us. But He didn’t just leave it that way. Because of His great love, He did something about it.

Jesus weeps deeply because He loves deeply.

In 1 Thessalonians 4:13, it reminds us that death is not the end of the story. That truth gives me hope. It reminds me that in the middle of my sorrow, I can still grieve with hope. Life won’t always feel this heavy, and this pain is temporary.

Today I was reminded that I am not alone, and that I am deeply loved. I am truly a blessed woman.