In the quiet

 

I am at the lake for the weekend. It was hard this time walking in. Memories flooded me and I felt I would choke while fighting my tears. 

I slept on the side of the bed he always slept on and I sat where he sat on the couch. I imagined all the times the two of us would squeeze into this space on the sectional. It made me smile. 

Here you can see the stars so beautifully. There is no light pollution. I was looking up through the dark of the night and seeing brilliant little tweaking lights dancing to an unknown rhythm. My heart squeezed. My mind going back to all the nights we sat under these stars chasing falling ones. I smiled at the many memories we had in the cul-de-sac on the back of that golf cart looking toward the heavens, sharing our hearts and letting the hard of life just melt away. 

This morning while sitting in the quiet and stillness of the house, I watched the sunrise pushing its light through all the cracks in the clouds. I felt that to my core. The rising and pushing through has been my daily walk. 

I imagined him sitting at the bar beside his dad while I fed him breakfast. His dad with his traditional bacon, eggs and toast but Michael with bacon egg cheese and tomato sandwich with cape cod chips. I smiled. 

I feel close to him here. He loved how time seemed to slow down while staying here. How the quiet could calm your weary soul. I imagined him walking to the edge of the pier looking out across the water. And us sitting in the swing together. I smiled again just thinking of the gift of the quiet, the gift of memories and the audacious gift of Michael. 

I love you baby, forever and always. I love carrying your love,  these memories with me everywhere I go, not even death can take you away from me. 

2/2/2025 KMS