Missing you…

I miss you.

There are days when it feels like I can’t breathe without you. I look around at the life we built—our family, the people we loved—and it all feels different now. Empty in places you used to fill without even trying. You were the glue, the safe place, the one who made things feel okay even when they weren’t. And now… I’m just trying to figure out how to keep going without you.

I keep thinking about how you would know what to say right now. How you’d notice the little things, the quiet sadness, the way I feel left behind sometimes. You always saw me. You loved me through my faults, through the things I wish I could undo. You never made me feel like I had to be someone else to be loved. You brought peace to the chaos—and God, I need that now.

I feel lost without you. Not just in grief, but in identity. You being gone pulled the floor out from under me, and I’m still trying to stand. I want to be strong. I want to be who God is calling me to be. But the silence is loud, and the loneliness is heavy.

Still, I’m trying. I’m holding on to faith. I’m trying to believe that there’s more ahead than what I feel today. That even in this heartache, there’s a purpose. That you’re with me in some way, cheering me on, helping me keep going.

I love you so much. You were, and still are, the love of my life. I carry you with me every single day. 

Our wedding anniversary is next week, I am Forever and always missing and loving you. 

6.10 best decision ever.