Don’t waste a minute

Friday night I had a dream of Michael. I was walking across a yard and saw him standing in a light grey three piece suit with carolina blue pinstripes looking at me. (I remember thinking. He did not like wearing grey, he didn’t like suits and he sure wouldn’t have wanted a carolina blue pinstripe) Go STATE. 

I took off running and jumped in his arms. He caught me and spun me around not letting go. I clung to him not believing he was healthy and whole and with me. The joy I experienced in that moment was more than I can describe. 

It felt so real. He started grabbing items out of the back of the car. I thought well God has given him back to me, does he have what he needs, has he taken his medicine, then I stopped. I was so worried about all the wrong things in that moment. He was here. He was whole and healthy. He was with me. 

Isn’t that how life is though. We can’t stop and enjoy the moment, it’s always the next thing, the worry, the what about this, what about that, I can’t do that, etc. Why is it so hard as humans to just sit in the moment? Enjoy every single moment. 

I came to the beach with my dinner tonight. I sat in the sand watching the sun disappear into the horizon. Waiting for the sun to kiss the ocean. 

I saw couples walking holding hands turning to see the sunset. Realizing I can only sit here with my Memories of Michael and I doing that. And that makes me sad. But I was sure hoping those couples were enjoying that moment. Because one day they may not have it. 

This season is one I do not want. But it’s one I will not let slip by without making the most out of it. I will not waste this pain. I will not waste this season. 

When it all comes down to it. You only have a few things in life that are truly important. Knowing the Lord, love, loving, supporting and enjoying family and friends and making a difference in the lives of others. 

But the greatest of these is love. The love of a Heavenly Father and the privilege to love your family and friends. 

#dontwasteaminute 

I love you forever and always Michael. I miss you like crazy. And if my missing you could bring you back, you would be here.