Bind up

The past can be intoxicating it can draw you in, Create the illusion that things are better, you were happier or experiences were better back then but it can also debilitate you leaving you stuck in your memories or pain, heartbreak, and disappointment, holding you back from even attempting another shot at happiness. 

They say if you do not learn from your past mistakes we’re bound to repeat them. But we can also learn to let go of the past, learn to forge ahead, keeping the knowledge close, but not letting it overtake our ability to try again, to feel again. 

I think everyone at some point in their story has been in this space. We all get to choose how we will respond to our pain. We can stay where we are,sit in our pain and shame or we can choose to use it to move us forward into better. Better for ourselves and for those we love around us. 

I think the true tragedy isn’t always what has happened to us but staying stuck and never allowing healing to take place. That is the true tragedy. Despite what has happened in the past, you don’t have to stay there and you don’t have to let it dictate your future. 

God didn’t send his son to just save us. He sent him to heal our wounds and bind up the broken hearted. 

In Isaiah the scripture says. “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61‬:‭1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The picture Isaiah uses here is of a heart that is “broken.” (“shabar” literally means “broken in pieces.”) And he says that the Messiah (Jesus) when He came would “bind” those broken hearts back together: wrap them up, bandage them; bind them back together. 

What a beautiful explanation of the healing that can take place from the tragedy of your past and current season. 

Today marks 4 months without Michael. I know that if I didn’t allow God to bind up my broken heart of my past, I would have never gotten the gift of Michael in my life. That would have been tragic. 

Losing him to cancer is tragic and still so freshly painful. Everyday without him is so difficult. I will NEVER get over losing him. And though this season looks different and though my future is uncertain without him, I cling to Jesus and His goodness as I live my life each day to the full. I want to make sure I am allowing Jesus to bind up my brokenness because I have no idea how He wants to use it for my good and for His glory one day. 

So here’s some encouragement. Get with Jesus. Don’t waste your pain. Let Him bind up all your wounds so you don’t miss out on ALL He has in store for you. I promise His best is better than our best any day. 

Hawaii has been so refreshingly beautiful. I have hiked some beautiful places and seen the most beautiful views. I am so thankful for this opportunity to experience God’s creation up close and personal.  Every view has spoken to the depth of my broken heart. God’s creation expressing His love for me over and over again.  I miss you Michael so very much. I like to think you are telling God all about me and my heart. Not that God doesn’t already know but that by this thought makes me feel so connected to you through Him.  I’m staying close to Jesus because you are close to him. And God is close to the broken hearted which means he’s close to me. I am sitting, waiting, allowing God to bind my broken heart back together. 

I love you forever and always Michael. 🩷