It can’t be fixed

 I miss you…. That is all. 

It is so hard to reconcile you not being here and the yearning of my heart that wishes that you were here. Sometimes it is so overwhelming to see that you’re not here and I’ve tried so hard to trust the Lord at the middle of it all. I know that I know that you are faithful Lord and you are just even though my heart is broken I trust you, Lord for whatever reason this week is so very hard. I miss you Michael so very much. And through it all I trust you Lord…even in my not understanding. Tomorrow is three months. How is that even possible. This week has been so very hard, I dare to say the hardest as of yet. The agony I have felt this week has been unbearable. I do not even have the words. Looking at memories and videos of you, I just wish I could touch your face and hold you one more time. It’s been 3 months and I guess it could be seen as three months closer to getting to see you again. Somethings can’t be fixed. They can only be carried. So I will carry the gift of having you and the sorrow of losing you. It can’t be fixed. Only carried. Even when I try to understand and reconcile you not being here yet I’m reminded your ways are higher than my ways, Lord. If it isn’t good then God is not finished with it. So I’m looking for the good and clinging to the hem of His garment. So Lord. I’m waiting to see the goodness. Continue to show it to me. And work it ALL to your good and for your Glory. I love you Michael… Forever and Always. I miss you so much.